Adam Lyons – Building Comfort

Hey man,

I’ve been reading email after email of people who picked up my book 101 Ways to Break the Ice and I’m so happy you were able to use those lines right away. I would argue that the most important thing you can do to make a strong interaction, is be able to start it.

If you can’t start an interaction, you will never know what could have been. So if you are one of those guys who have been going out the past few days using those techniques I talked about, perfect! I bet you noticed a big change in how your interactions went when you approached quickly.

If you have not been going out and striking up conversations or if you don’t intend to, you can stop reading now. The rest of this letter won’t do you any good…For those of you still reading I have some new questions for you:

What do you do once you start a conversation with a girl?

My short answer for this is one simple word that you should get tattooed somewhere on your body that you will see it every day.Listen.

There are hundreds of different transitions to use to tie thoughts together and keep a good flow going. But they come off as very strange and boring when you aren’t actually listening and responding to what a girl is saying.

To hold a girl’s attention is also extremely important for an interaction. I have several techniques I teach for this, but the simplest one is to use eye contact.

You know that fear that you have that women can read your thoughts? They can!

Okay, not actually, but they think they can. If you aren’t looking at her in the eyes, she can’t make that connection to read your thoughts. That might sound like a good thing, but if she doesn’t think she can read your thoughts, she can’t trust you.

You need a woman to trust you, and feel comfortable talking to you.

Comfort and Rapport.

Without those things, you’re flirting will backfire, your teasing will hurt her feelings, and she will want to leave.

Those two things are the very backbone of any interaction.

If you knew nothing of game besides how to approach quickly and build comfort and rapport, you would be able to make a whole lot of friends in a very short amount of time. You’d also get very successful at networking for business and other opportunities but that’s not the focus of what I teach.

In the reverse, if you were very good at breaking rapport (teasing, negging, flirting etc.) and awesome at qualifying and sexually escalating, but you didn’t know how to build comfort and rapport, you would be very sad and unsuccessful.

Trying to build sexual tension with a girl who doesn’t trust you and feel comfortable with you will always end badly. If you are getting blown out when you go for the number, kiss, or even getting her facebook, its probably because you need to work on this part of your game right now.

Comfort and Rapport.

So this is the big step to polish up. If you master the ability to build comfort and rapport, the later steps are much easier to correct if they start going sour. If you can build up comfort and rapport then every time you start to lose it in the interaction, you just quickly go back down a step and build it back up again!

If this is something that you are trying to work on, I go into a lot more and details about it in my How to Keep the Conversation Going program.

I break everything down into smaller, easier to understand pieces. I also give a whole lot of my personal tactics that are extremely effective to quickly take an opener into a place of comfort to lock yourself in the set. I break down conversations into easy to remember formulas so that you will always have something to say.

I explain how to find and build instant commonalities with girls and I give a technique you can use step-by-step in case your mind goes blank and you need something powerful to talk about.

Once you’ve found your commonalities and you are ready to close, I break down several different techniques for getting a number close with minimal risk of her flaking out on you for the next time you get together.

I have this program packed with information that is absolute gold if you are working on mastering your conversation skills and you want to take your interactions farther than a greeting.

Again, if you want to see more about that program, Once you have mastered holding a conversation, everything else moves a lot faster.

My advice to you, when you feel comfortable with your approach, you are ready to work on holding the conversation. You can use my techniques or not, but challenge yourself to see how long you can hold her conversation and keep things moving forward.

Record your interactions or you can write about them in detail afterwards. I strongly suggest recording them. You will hear subtle nuances that way and it will cause your brain to autocorrect for the next cold approach you try.

Nice work man.

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